A Word From the Couch

22 Dec

Hello! It has been a really long time since I blogged. Not gonna lie, I felt like a part of my soul was missing…like my world had been shattered into tiny pieces of glass, and someone had swept those pieces under a giant shag carpet and thrown the carpet away because, well, it was shag and had bits of glass in it.

(It’s not dramatic if it’s the truth.)

While I was on my blogging hiatus, I studied. A lot. And when I wasn’t studying, I was asking myself, “Should I start packing my stuff up to facilitate the move-out process? Should I be studying instead of watching ‘The Little Mermaid’ for the SECOND time tonight? Should I close the window because it’s snowing pretty aggressively and the snow is blowing into my kitchen?”

The answer to all of those questions was “yes,” but I conveniently decided against all of them. So, I spent a lot of time watching “The Little Mermaid” while my papers dried out from snow exposure.

Besides that, the semester ended well! I saw The Nutcracker, took a statistics exam that made me feel like my brain was the sand under an elephant’s foot, ate a holiday meal in the dining hall, and hung out with my friends.

Did I bother to pack up my apartment before my parents arrived to pick me up at school the other day? Of course not! That would be responsible and helpful. I decided it would be more fun to surprise them.

And I was right.

When my dad walked into my apartment, he said, “Jesus Christ, Sophie, it looks like a tornado came through here.”

“How so?” I asked, sheepishly.

Maybe it was because I’d emptied all of my drawers onto my bed? Maybe he was noticing the stacks of dishes I’d thrown on the floor as a means to start cleaning the kitchen cabinets (only to stop halfway through to eat some trail mix I’d found and had deemed in need of a new home); or, maybe he was struck by the fact that I had a pile of papers labeled, “To be ceremoniously burned,” in the middle of my living room.

I guess any of these factors could have contributed to his reaction.

But you see, I am a last-minute kind of person. I don’t like doing things until I know they are absolutely necessary.  So that’s why everything always seems messy and disorganized to third-party observers.

My mom always tells me my life would be so much less stressful if I just “made a check-list and did a few things each day until it was complete.”

Well, Mom, do you know what would happen to that “list” if I were to make one? I would inevitably find a way to get chocolate on it (even if I wasn’t even eating chocolate while making it), bury it in the bottom of my backpack, and then find it three years later…And, NONE of the shit I’d wanted to do would have been completed.

So, that’s why I’m always slightly behind-the-curve. But I figured, what could be wrong with making my parents help me move out of my apartment? I thought it could be a kind of “ceremonious bonding activity” for us to enjoy.

(And by that I mean I needed my mom to help me vacuum and I’m not strong enough to carry boxes down two flights of stairs, so, HELLO DAD.)

I’m not so sure they enjoyed my “ceremonious bonding activity,” however. At one point, I’m pretty sure they wanted to throw my SIXTH suitcase out the window as their own personal “bonding activity.”

But then I played some Michael Bublé Christmas tunes, and the mood seemed to settle a bit.

Four hours later, I was officially moved out of my apartment and headed for home.  And then, in a few weeks, I’ll be studying abroad in…EUROPE!

I’ve only been home for about a day, but I’ve already made several observations about being home.

Observation #1:

My room – which has bright PINK wall-to-wall carpeting and bright PINK, flowered wallpaper – is EVEN MORE PINK than I remember. My eyes hurt a little bit as I walked into it. But it was a good kind of hurt, you know? The kind that is uncomfortable in the moment, but that you know you’ll appreciate 20 years down the line when you come home to your parents’ house and immediately feel youthful and rejuvenated because of your pink room.

Observation #2:

We have a “cookie jar.” My mom announced this to me on the ride home, like it was the most exciting thing since sliced bread…WHICH IT TOTALLY IS. You have to understand; I’ve ALWAYS wanted to be one of those families with a constant, never-ending supply of cookies just casually sitting in their kitchen. And now that we are one of these “jar” families, I’m not quite sure how to handle it. It’s a lot of pressure. There’s got to be a “How-To” book on this.

Observation #3:

My suitcases are STILL sitting on my bedroom floor, where I put them after arriving home. They haven’t moved an INCH. I somehow thought they would just kind of unpack themselves, and then I’d be able to call my family upstairs and say, “It’s a Christmas Miracle!” (That was going to be my Christmas present to all of them, but it looks like I’ll have to come up with something else at this point.)

Observation #4:

I still SUCK at baking, so I guess my “I just can’t bake in my apartment because I don’t have enough counter space” excuse is really shot to shit. Last night, my sister and I tried to make cookies to add to our cookie jar. And guess what? I dropped an ENTIRE eggshell into the batter. I didn’t even blink an eyelash, but my sister kicked me out of the kitchen and told me to “go sit on my hands.” She may be a bitch in the kitch, but she knows how to avoid a walking disaster when she sees one.

Observation #5:

Returning to the suburbs initiates a lot of,  “this is not how we do it in the city” comments. None of which my family approves:

“Oh, you don’t walk as quickly out here as we do in the city.”

“Stores close at 6pm here? We don’t go to bed until 2am in the city.”

“The air is so fresh out here! How…quaint. Not at all like the air in the city.”

“You wear pajamas to the grocery store? I would never be caught dead doing that in the city.”

You get the gist. Sometimes, my sisters will stop me mid-sentence to say, “WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. You live in THE CITY??? Wow, we had no idea.”

I can always sense their sarcasm. That’s one thing they have in the suburbs that we also have in the city.

Besides these few observations, being home has been pretty normal. I’ve made friends with my couch again; I’ve reintroduced myself to “el fridge”; and, I’ve managed to craft a little remote control/snack and beverage holder that fits perfectly between the couch and the crook of my arm.

So that’s where I’m at. I hope everyone is having an equally thrilling and intellectually stimulating vacation.

So happy to be blogging again! More to come.

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One Response to “A Word From the Couch”

  1. Michael Lin January 15, 2014 at 10:47 pm #

    Cookie jars are the best! They should be mandatory in every household. You’re studying abroad in Europe?! That’s amazing! Good luck with that and a belated Happy Holidays and New Year!

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