How Many Plates Is Too Many Plates?

29 Nov

Even though I didn’t think I’d be physically capable of writing a blog post this week, I’ve emerged from my food coma and my fingers are capable of typing (despite all the bloating) sooo…I thought I’d write about a few Thanksgiving highlights.

1. Starting the morning with the annual “Sophie, hurry up!” screamfest that takes place whenever my family tries to go anywhere EVER. My usual response is “Sorry I wasn’t in the navy and never learned how to take a THIRTY SECOND shower, like Dad!”

When really I should say, “Sorry I spent TWENTY MINUTES dancing to Whitney Houston throwbacks and trying to find a pair of tights that were in my drawer the ENTIRE TIME.”

2. Watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and waiting for Santa to appear on the screen because my mom claims, “This one is the real McCoy!” And jumping up and down and waving at him because not seeing Santa means the disappearance of Christmas and the start of the Apocalypse.

3. Eating a GIANT brunch and worrying about “not having room for dinner.” And then laughing my head off because ha ha ha, I am good at making jokes.

4. Having my grandfather look at me like this every time I change the conversation from the nuclear situation in Iran to “the circumstances of Amanda Bynes’ sad decline”:


5. “Balls!” said the Queen. “If I had them, I’d be king!”

Learning that “classic joke” from my grandparents and laughing for hours.

6. Going for my family’s annual Thanksgiving walk around my grandparents’ neighborhood and realizing it’s frigid outside and I’m wearing stockings and “fashion boots,” as my grandfather calls them.

7. And yet, despite the cold, managing to play on the playground and take pictures like this:


And this:


8. Attempting to take Christmas card pictures and having them end up like this…Every. Single. Time.


And having my mom complain about how we “never take anything seriously.” When really, this is just how my sisters and I exist in our natural habitat.

9. Doing arts and crafts with my cousins to “preserve our youth” and to prove that the public school system didn’t “suppress our creative talents”:


And having my grandmother say, “Well, Sophie, you’ve always been creative and original…”

I’ll let you guess which one is mine…

10. Having a family debate about religion turn into a family discussion about the Bruce Jenner and Kris Kardashian separation.

11. And getting another one of these babies:


12. Eating MORE food than my uncle (trust me, that’s an accomplishment) and being in so much pain that I end up on the floor.

Once after dinner:


And once after dessert:


(All laughing has ceased by this desperate point.)

13. Getting a second wind (lucky for everyone) and allowing my sister and cousin to do my hair.

14. Ending up looking like Miley Cyrus and deciding to rock it anyway…because nearly dying from fullness really changed my outlook on life:


15. Ending a quality Thanksgiving with a few puppy photo-shoot pics…because even though I call my dog Little Bitch more than I call her Ruby, she’s still adorable.


All in all, it was a wonderful Thanksgiving. We may not have gotten our Christmas card picture, but we got some quality shots. And I got to embrace my inner Miley. Does it GET any better than that?

It does, actually. Because in my family, we do a “reheating.” Which means taking stock of all of our leftovers, making more of whatever we don’t have, and eating an ENTIRE second Thanksgiving meal the next night.

Perhaps I should just begin my meal on the floor so I don’t have to make my way down there once the food coma strikes…

I’m always thinking ahead.


7 Responses to “How Many Plates Is Too Many Plates?”

  1. tinemagpayo December 27, 2013 at 2:56 am #


  2. Live Learn Eat (@LiveLearnEat) December 21, 2013 at 4:44 pm #

    This is hilarious and the Miley hair is too much 🙂

  3. debtnthecity November 30, 2013 at 1:58 pm #

    Reheating – brilliant. Loved the Miley Cyrus hair 🙂

    • sophpearl November 30, 2013 at 5:19 pm #

      Haha thank you! I can’t say I’ll rock it in my day-to-day life, but it was worth a try 🙂 Hope you had a good Thanksgiving!

  4. librarylady November 29, 2013 at 9:30 pm #

    Loved this! This is why I love thanksgiving. No gifts, no trees, just family, and pets, and lots of food.

    • sophpearl November 30, 2013 at 5:18 pm #

      Thanks so much! And I completely agree! I just love eating and hanging out. Hope you had a nice holiday!

      • librarylady November 30, 2013 at 9:01 pm #

        Also, the picture of your Grandpa is hilarious.

Tell me what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: